Femra Shqiptare » Dita e Dasmes

Ndërron tradita e martesave

Derby — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 18:39:45 +0000

Mesiti mbetet jashte ‘lojes’ Tani shumica e martesave realizohen duke e zgjedhur vete njeriun e jetes, madje ka raste kur nuk perfillen fare traditat, pasi po shkohet drejt ne martese, apo, thene me mire, fejese-martese ne te njejten kohe

Periudha e tranzicionit neper te cilin po kalon vendi dhe shoqeria jone ka sjelle shume ndryshime, si ne menyren e te jetuarit ashtu edhe ne shume aspekte te tjera te jetes. Menyra e te jetuarit nga tradicionalja tek modernia ka ndikuar nder te tjera edhe ne menyren tjeter te zgjedhjes se bashkeshortit. Dikur, martesat jane realizuar permes shkuesve (mesiteve), te cilat per shkak te tradites se atehershme, me gjithe mosnjohjen e mire te çiftit te ardhshem, martesat kryesisht kane qene te suksesshme dhe te rralla kane qene rastet e deshtimeve, kurse ne kohen e sotme po ndodh e kunderta. Tani shumica e martesave realizohen duke e zgjedhur vete njeriun e jetes, madje ka raste kur nuk perfillen fare traditat se pari fejese e pastaj martese, por shkohet drejt ne martese, apo, thene me mire, fejese-martese ne te njejten kohe.

Ndryshe ne rajonet rurale
Rrethanat e reja te krijuara nuk do te thote qe ne ditet e sotme anashkalohen shkuesit, por rastet e tilla jane me te rralla. Ky fenomen me i shprehur eshte ne zonat rurale, ku femra eshte e detyruar te martohet me ate njeri qe i propozon dikush nga te afermit dhe per nje gje te tille merr vendim prindi i saj dhe ndodh qe vajza nuk pyetet fare, vetem del takohet nje here apo dy here dhe vendos per martese. Por, akoma ma absurd qendron fakti se femrat ne rajonet e thella te Kosoves, te cilat nuk shkollohen, sapo t’i mbushim 14 apo 15 vjet, fejohen dhe bashkeshortin nuk e shohin deri ne diten e marteses. Lokja Hasime Ibrahimi, e cila eshte martuar para 50 vjetesh, rrefen se ajo eshte martuar ne moshe shume te re, kur i kishte vetem 13 vjet. Ate e kishte fejuar babai i saj dhe ajo thote se nuk e ka pare burrin e saj derisa eshte martuar ne naten e dhenderise.“Mua me ka martuar baba im kur i kam pas 13 vjet. E atehere ka qene kohe tjeter, na eshte dashur te durojme e punojme shume. Jemi ballafaquar edhe me skamje. Femijet e mi me shume jane rritur pa buke se me buke dhe kemi pasur durim”, eshte shprehur lokja Hasimja. Ajo thote se pas nje jave e ka kuptuar se babai i saj e kishe fejuar me nje djale me te vjeter se ajo plot 10 vjet.“Tash ka ardhur kohe tjeter moj loke, nuk kemi pas guxim me kundershtuar burrin per asgje, kurse nuset e sotme jane shume ma ndryshe nga ne. Ato zgjohen dhe dalin kur te done, nuk i pengon askush, kushtet per jetese i kane shume me te mira se ne atehere, edhe prape gjejne fjale. Ka humb moj loke edhe respekti edhe marrja mos vet me çfare kohe po jetojme”, ka thene lokja Hasime, duke shtuar: “Mua me ka rrahur burri im kur ju ka tek dhe me eshte dashur te duroj, sepse ne vaktin tone ka qene marre mu nda apo me ia kthye fjalen burrit. Kurse sot s’ka me burra, ata nuk guxojne me ua prish qefin grave te tyre dhe bejne çfare te thone ato”. Po ashtu edhe axha Shaban Hajdari, rreth te shtatedhjetave, ka potencuar se atehere ka qene kohe tjeter dhe martesat me mesit kane qene shume me te mira se ato te diteve te sotmet.“Bre axhe, martesat me mesit jane shume ma te mira se sa keto qe po behen vete, e po pajtohen vete dy te rinjte. I riu nuk di me menduar shume dhe nuk ia shikon fijet djalit apo vajzes, por vetem e njohin njeri-tjetrin dhe martohen. E pas disa vjetesh po i dalin telashet e po ndahen, po i lajne femijet rrugeve. Ka ardhur kohe e veshtire si per djem ashtu edhe per vajza, se nuk po mundesh me dite as çka po merr e as çka po e jep”, ka shprehur shqetesimin e tij axha Shaban.

Jeta moderne sjell risi
Sociologet potencojne se ne shoqerite tradicionale martesat me mesit kane qene shume te shprehura. Por, ne kohen e sotme, kur shoqerite kane kaluar ne nje faze transitore, nga tradicionalja ne moderne, martesat me mesit jane me te pakta, ato jane rralluar dhe kane dale jashte “modes”. “Ne mesin e shoqerive qe kane qene te perhapura keto martesa eshte edhe Kosova, ku shumica, e per te mos thene te gjitha martesat, jane bere permes mesitit. Edhe pse çiftet bashkeshortore nuk kane qene te njoftuar paraprakisht, deri ne momentin e hyrjes se nuses ne shtepine e burrit, keto martesa kane pasur sukses dhe jeta bashkeshortore eshte zhvilluar normalisht. Tani, kur shoqerite kane kaluar ne nje faze transitore, martesat me mesit jane me te pakta, ato jane rralluar, ka potencuar sociologu Artan Hasani. Sipas tij, per te rinjte e kohes moderne eshte bere e papranueshme martesa me mesit, pa njohje paraprake te njeri-tjetrit.

Modernizimi ka sjell shume risi ne martese, duke e lene jashte “loje” mesitin.“Nese dikur i eshte kushtuar shume rendesi njohjes se familjes se çifteve, prejardhjes dhe statusit familjar, ne ditet e sotme me shume kujdes i kushtohet njohjes se çifteve ne mes vete e me pak njohjes se familjes. Duke i lene anash keta faktore dhe duke i kushtuar me shume rendesi njohjes mes tyre, sot kane lindur shume probleme shoqerore, meqe jeta eshte bere shume dinamike, krahasuar me tradicionalizmin”

Postime te Ngjashme:

Did You Know?

Derby — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 19:54:18 +0000

Looking for Love

*188 million Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged annually, making Valentine’s Day the second-most popular greeting-card-giving occasion. (This total excludes packaged kids valentines for classroom exchanges.)

*Over 50 percent of all Valentine’s Day cards are purchased in the six days prior to the observance, making Valentine’s Day a procrastinator’s delight.

*Research reveals that more than half of the U.S. population celebrates Valentine’s Day by purchasing a greeting card.

*There are 119 single men (i.e., never married, widowed or divorced) who are in their 20s for every 100 single women of the same ages. Corresponding numbers for the following race and ethnic groups are:
o Hispanics: 153 men per 100 women
o Asians (single race): 132 men per 100 women (This ratio is not significantly different from that for Hispanics or non-Hispanic whites.)
o Non-Hispanic whites (single race): 120 men per 100 women
o Blacks (single race): 92 men per 100 women (The numbers of black men and women in this age group are not significantly different from one another.)

*There are 34 single men (i.e., never married, widowed or divorced) age 65 or older for every 100 single women of the same ages. Corresponding numbers for the following race and ethnic groups are:
o Hispanics: 38 men per 100 women
o Non-Hispanic whites (single race): 33 men per 100 women
o Blacks (single race): 33 men per 100 women
o Asians (single race): 28 men per 100 women
o (Note: None of the ratios for the individual groups differ significantly from one another nor from the ratio for all people age 65 or older.)

*904: The number of dating service establishments nationwide as of 2002. These establishments, which include Internet dating services, employed nearly 4,300 people and pulled in $489 million in revenues.

Be Mine

*2.2 million marriages take place in the United States annually. That breaks down to more than 6,000 a day.

*147,300 marriages are performed in Nevada during 2005. So many couples “tie the knot” in the Silver State that it ranked fourth nationally in marriages, even though it’s total population that year among states was 35th.

*The estimated U.S. median ages at first marriage for women and men are 25.3 and 27.1 respectively, in 2005. The age for women rose 4.2 years in the last three decades. The age for men at first marriage is up 3.6 years.

*Men and women in northeastern states generally have a higher median age at first marriage than the national average. In Massachusetts, for example, women were a median of 27.4 years old and men 29.1 years of age at first marriage. States where people typically marry young include Utah, where women were a median of 21.9 years and men, 23.9 years.

*57% and 60% of American women and men, respectively, are 15 or older and currently married (includes those who are separated).

*72%: The percentage of men and women ages 30 to 34 in 2005 who had been married at some point in their lives – either currently or formerly.

*4.9 million opposite-sex cohabitating couples maintained households in 2005. These couples comprised 4.3 percent of all households.

Candy is Dandy!

*1,241: The number of locations producing chocolate and cocoa products in 2004. These establishments employed 43,322 people. California led the nation in the number of such establishments with 136, followed by Pennsylvania with 122.

*515 locations produced nonchocolate confectionary products in 2004. These establishments employed 22,234 people.

*The total value of shipments in 2004 for firms producing chocolate and cocoa products was $13.9 billion. Nonchocolate confectionery product manufacturing, meanwhile, was a $5.7 billion industry.

*3,467 Number of confectionery and nut stores in the United States in 2004. Often referred to as candy stores, they are among the best sources of sweets for Valentine’s Day.

*The per capita consumption of candy by Americans in 2005 was 25.7 pounds. Candy consumption has actually declined over the last few years; in 1997, each American gobbled or savored more than 27 pounds of candy a year.

Flowers

*The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut flowers in 2005 for all flower-producing operations with $100,000 or more in sales was $397 million. Among states, California was the leading producer, alone accounting for nearly three-quarters of this amount ($289 million).

*The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut roses in 2005 for all operations with $100,000 or more in sales was $39 million. Among all types of cut flowers, roses were third in receipts ($39 million)to lilies ($76.9 million) and tulips ($39.1 million).

*There were 21,667 florists nationwide in 2004. These businesses employed 109,915 people.

Jewelry

*There were 28,772 jewelry stores in the United States in 2004. Jewelry stores offer engagement, wedding and other rings to lovers of all ages. In February 2006, these stores sold $2.6 billion worth of merchandise. (This figure has not been adjusted for seasonal variation, holiday or trading day differences or price changes).
The merchandise at these locations could well have been produced at one of the nation’s 1,864 jewelry manufacturing establishments. The manufacture of jewelry was an $9 billion industry in 2004.

Postime te Ngjashme:

Një grim me provën e lotëve

Derby — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 22:47:38 +0000

Per nje dite speciale duhet edhe nje make-up special. Me keto produkte nuset jane te sigurta: emocioni i tyre nuk do te lere shenja. Mbi te gjitha, nje trukator profesionist, di te percaktoje me kujdes ngjyrat, ne funksion te ngjyres se lekures dhe te flokeve.

Make-up i pershtatshem

Fillimisht duhet qe t’i tregohet nje foto e fustanit dhe pastaj modeli i flokeve, para se te arrihet ne percaktimin final te make-up.

Kremi puder: Ky do te zgjidhet ne baze te tipit te lekures. Nese eshte shume e thate, me mire nje krem puder, superhidratues, qe garanton ne te njejten kohe make-up dhe trajtim per te gjithe diten.

Lekure e shndritshme? Nje krem puder, qe i pershtatet zonave te ndryshme te fytyres, duke vepruar ne menyre te ndryshme ne te ashtuquajturen zona T (balli-hunda-mjekra) dhe ne pjesen tjeter te fytyres. Nese ke nje fytyre te lodhur dhe te stresuar, perdor nje krem me efekt lifting. Ke frike qe mos te besh pis fustanin e bardhe? Zgjidh nje krem puder 24 oresh dhe rezistent ndaj ujit. Beni kujdes mos vini shume make-up, pasi e rendon fytyren dhe thekson linjat e shprehjes dhe rrudhat.

Korrektori: eshte nje aleat i vertete per te fshehur te gjitha paperfekshmerite e momentit te fundit (nje puçerr qe ka dale naten, nje skuqje e papritur, syte e nxire…).

Rimeli duhet te jete absolutisht kunder ujit, pasi mund te shpetojne edhe disa pika lot. Dhe per ato qe duan nje shikim akoma me joshes, eshte “extension”, (Tufa te vogla me qerpike), te cilat vihen nga estetistja nje dite para dasmes. Pas nje muaji do te bien vete.

Buzekuqi: sa puthje duhet te jape nusja pergjate nje dite? Dhe sigurisht qe nuk do te kete kohe per te rinovuar ngjyren e buzeve. Zgjidhja eshte buzekuqi, i cili zgjat deri ne tete ore, ne versionin hidratues, duke i lene buzet shpesh te buta.

Ja nusja perfekte

Fjalekalimi per nje grim te suksesshem eshte qe te mos teprohet. Kete duhet qe ta mbaje mend nusja ne percaktimin e make-up. Ne keto raste eshte e keshillueshme qe truku t’i besohet nje profesionisti, duke evituar thenien klasike te nuseve te reja “i bej te gjitha vete, pastaj une çdo dite lyhem”. Make-up i nuses duhet te jete nje miks i ashtuquajtur “i shoh, nuk shoh”, ose e thene ndryshe; duhet te jete, por ne te njejten kohe nuk duhet te jete shume i dukshem. Pastaj, duhet te jete ne sintoni me stilin e fustanit dhe me stinen.

Ështe fare e kote nje krem puder i erret ne dimer ose nje fustan i bardhe akull; duhet evituar pudra dhe nuancat roze nese lekura eshte e zeshket. Fustani ne ngjyre ari nuk shkon nese ti do te martohesh ne vjeshte. Pra, nje trukator i zoti, di te jape sugjerimet e duhura per te percaktuar produktet ideale per te patur nje efekt mendafshi, te heqe shkelqimin e tepert, te evitoje kullimin e mundshem te make-up. Dhe te kamufloje te gjitha defektet e fytyres, duke e pergatitur ne menyre perfekte per te qendruar nga mengjesi ne mbremje, ne qetesi te plote, perpara aparatit fotografik.

Postime te Ngjashme:

HOW TO UNDERSTAND A GROOM

Derby — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 12:31:19 +0000

Postime te Ngjashme:

Your Ceremony … a Reflection of Your Values

Derby — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 12:23:34 +0000

After your wedding day, it will be the ceremony that you will remember most. Yet, it is often the part of the wedding to which the least thought is given, or it is the part the bride and groom presume is solely the prerogative of the officiant or the church.

You don’t have to let that happen. Some couples may want their weddings to be simple legal ceremonies, but most want expressions of the sacred reality of their love. It stands to reason that some real thought should be given to the content of your wedding ceremony.

You do not have to accept any church or synagogue that is handy; you have a choice. If it is the place you or your fiancee grew up, or a facility where the ceremony celebrant is a friend or is much revered, that is your most likely and comfortable choice. But if you have no spiritual community that feels like home, you should search around until you find a place and a minister/priest/rabbi who represents your thoughts and feelings, your way of looking at the world, and who will officiate at a ceremony that can be sacred in a way you define sacred to be.

Of course, you will want to take into consideration the religious traditions of both bride and groom, and both of your families. But, never forget, it is first and foremost your ceremony! If the bride and the groom are of different faiths, it is important to be inclusive and considerate of the beliefs of both sides. In actuality, the core beliefs of most religions today are very similar and the areas of disagreement are relatively minor. Virtually everyone believes that love is the essence of God, and that God’s primary command is that we become better, more loving, more compassionate, more caring people, and that we do that through our relationships with other people. A lot of ceremony can be built around those universal beliefs.

Just as you shop around for the perfect reception site and the most appropriate gown, etc., so you should shop around for the wedding ceremony location and the wedding celebrant who will best reflect the way you feel about marriage and each other. You want your marriage ceremony to exude how you feel and be relevant to your beliefs.

What do you think about life and love? What is your spiritual perspective, your values? Everybody has a philosophy of life, but many people have never put it into words, or have not yet had the occasion to think clearly about what is truly important to them. When you get married, you want this most important moment in your life to reflect your core beliefs, your truest feelings. Some want it to be a happy ceremony or a joyful ceremony, and others want it to be a solemn occasion. What do you want?

Start early to select your site. Approximately 80% of weddings are on Saturday, and 10% on Friday evenings, and 10% on Sundays. The most popular months for weddings are May, June, September and October, and churches or other ceremony sites can often book months in advance. Some locations schedule weddings beginning at 10:00 am and going every two hours into the evening.

Certain churches and locations have many rules and restrictions, while others will have few. Some priests, ministers or rabbis are much more strict than others about what they will allow. Some, like the priests and ministers in our national referral service, will have ceremony workbooks, that will let you pick and choose, and write your own ceremony. Some faiths (e.g., conservative Catholic or conservative Jewish) will allow interfaith marriages only if both parties agree to bring up the children in their faith. Other more liberal or reformed elements (including Catholics and Jews) will leave that up to the family itself. Some religions require permission to marry outside the faith or to have an interfaith ceremony, while some clergy and religions believe that love is paramount, that if “God is Love”, then those “in love” are in God. Occasionally, clergy of two different religions officiate.

More options exist than are listed here. What is important is that you are both comfortable with your location and your celebrant. If you are not, you should look around until you are.

You should also be aware that there are fees for the wedding ceremony as well as the reception. The ceremony site, if different from the reception site, will be an extra charge as well as the organist, church musicians or vocalists, etc.

Most wedding celebrants who are associated with a church or a parish may not charge a set fee, but accept donations instead. Most celebrants that you might secure outside of a home community setting have set fees that range from $150 (which sometimes results in minimal interaction) to $500, with the middle ground being $250 to $300. A few will tell you that they have no set fee, but accept donations, and most couples then offer donations in the same range as the set fees. Sometimes this supplements the income of the wedding celebrant (they can spend a great deal of time in each wedding’s preparation), and sometimes it is used for the work of their church. Brides and grooms who are planning low budget weddings and cannot afford these kinds of fees often find that many celebrants will officiate at your wedding for a low donation or for nothing. (However, after a clergy person invests thought and time into making sure your wedding is meaningful he or she should not be made to feel that they are financially less important than the cake, flowers or party favors.)

Some clergy spend very little time with the couple prior to the rehearsal or the wedding day itself. Others have relatively extensive and structured marriage preparation sessions. In my national wedding officiant referral service, we find that two sessions of about an hour each has always been sufficiently enriching, enjoyable (for both ourselves and the couple) and appreciated. These can be fun! Many couples appreciate this time spent before the wedding as very beneficial. With divorces for first-time marriages running around 50%, and for second marriages at 55%-65%, these pre-wedding sessions help couples focus on ways to keep their love as alive on their 50th anniversary as it is on their wedding day.

When the atmosphere and words of your ceremony reflect the love you and your fiancé feel for each other, it will be a powerful launch into your new life together. To think that marriage is an arrival, a settling in to a life of love, is to miss what marriage is about. Life itself is the continuing quest for becoming a more loving person; marriage is the choosing of a soul-mate, a unique and trusting partner with whom we can best make that journey to greater love more happy, more successful and more beautiful. Marriage is the magnificent continuing passage into greater love; it is not the destination itself. A wedding ceremony that builds on the values of your past and looks to the future will speak eloquently to you both throughout your life together.

Postime te Ngjashme:

Your Bridal Bouquet

Derby — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 11:57:50 +0000

On your wedding day, you’ll be the center of attention. As you walk down the aisle on the most important walk of your life, all eyes will be fixed upon you. Of course you want to be an elegant bride who makes a smooth entrance and gracefully glides down the aisle without looking uncomfortable, feeling awkward, or dropping your bouquet.

To feel confident and self-assured, you’ll want to make sure you are holding and carrying your bouquet appropriately. Not every bouquet is carried the same way. Typically, the type of bouquet and features of your gown will determine the way your bouquet should be carried.

Round, heart, cascade, and crescent bouquets are normally held and carried in front. These types of bouquets should be low enough to reveal the details on the neckline and bodice of your gown and are held with both hands as if your arms are resting on your hips. Although the natural tendency when excited or nervous is to bring the bouquet to your waist, chest, or even higher, try to avoid this so your arms are not held in an awkward, uncomfortably position and so everyone can see the beautiful details of your gown.

Small, lightweight and delicate bouquets, such as nosegays, clutch bouquets, or single blossoms, can be carried to your side with one hand and are generally held at the same level as a bouquet held in front. If your nosegay is mounted in an elaborate or family heirloom tussy mussy (a small, Victorian style, metal or glass, cone-shaped holder), you may choose to proudly display it by holding and carrying your bouquet in the front instead of the side. If you choose a tussy mussy holder for your bouquet, you’ll notice that there is generally only enough room to hold it securely with one hand. For proper positioning, carry the tussy mussy upwards in your hand with your forearm bent slightly so it is horizontal (parallel to the floor) while your elbow rests comfortably on your hip.

Floral pomanders (bloom-covered balls or cones suspended from a ribbon) can be carried to the side in the same manner as a nosegay or in front in the same manner as a round bouquet. Typically, adult attendants carry pomanders to the side with one hand while children carry them in the front with both hands.

Arm bouquets feature long floral stems and should rest naturally and comfortably across the inner bend of your elbow so that the bouquet is cradled in your arms with the blossom end of the flowers facing away from your body. This holding and carrying technique is not only comfortable, but it also allows guests on one side to see the open blossoms as you walk down the aisle and guests on the other side to see the open blossoms as you walk back up the aisle.

Specialty bouquets such as fans, baskets, and prayer books should be carried according to their size and proportion. Smaller specialty bouquets can be carried to either your front or side, while larger baskets should be carried down and to your side.

Whatever style you choose, it’s always best to hold and carry your bouquet in the most appropriate and natural way. You will not only look regal and confident as you walk down the aisle, but you will also avoid disappointment with your wedding portraits by ensuring that all photographs capture you holding your bouquet comfortably without raising it too high and covering portions of your neck, face, or the exquisite details of your gown.
Postime te Ngjashme:

10 WAYS TO ELIMINATE PRE-MARITAL STRESS!

Derby — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 11:47:56 +0000

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! It’s a wonderful time, but planning a wedding can often seem overwhelming. Here are some tips to help you through those anxious moments:

1) When people are nervous their breathing becomes shallow and rapid. One quick way to help you relax is to simply change your breathing pattern. This method only takes a few minutes and can even be practiced at a wedding rehearsal: Shut your eyes and focus your attention on your breathing. Try to allow slow breaths to gently come from your abdomen, but don’t strain. Simultaneously, you might want to think of your inhalations as breathing in fresh, calming energy and your exhalation breaths as breathing out tension.

2) Another popular technique: sit or lie down, shut your eyes and, after breathing gently for a few minutes, picture yourself in a peaceful, nurturing setting. Many people like to imagine themselves at a beach, in a meadow, or walking through the woods. You can visualize birds singing or waves lapping against the shore. You can be alone, with your fiance, or whatever appeals to you at the moment. Then, when you’re fully relaxed, open your eyes and bring this peaceful feeling back with you into your present environment. (You can do this because you have shifted your perception from stressful thoughts to calming ones). For some people, playing soothing music enhances the effect.

3) Actually spend some time in nature, which is inherently relaxing. Or, spend a day doing something exciting which has nothing to do with planning your wedding. Changing your focus reduces your anxiety level.

4) Physical exercise (even a brisk walk) combats stress as does time out in a nurturing activity such as an unhurried, luxurious bath. (The scent of Lavender in the bath water can act as a further relaxant). Yoga and Chi Gung are also great stress-busters.

5) Write down what is really important to you about your wedding and what are simply details. If some things seem to overlap, imagine that you have been married for l0 years and are looking back on your wedding. Did it really matter whether the invitations were exactly the right shade of ivory or whether they sent you white ones by mistake? What would you most like to remember about your wedding? What is the heart of it?

6) Be kind to yourself. If you are totally stressed out, you may be holding yourself to a higher standard than anyone else is. Most of the people you’ve invited to your wedding simply want to support you and share in your joy. Remember, everyone loves a wedding and, somehow, almost all weddings seem to turn out well despite the obstacles along the way.

7) Encourage yourself with logical, coping statements when you confront stressful situations. Examples are:

“I can handle this by taking it one step at a time. I don’t have to make all my decisions at once.”
“It’s all right to change my mind or even make a mistake.”
“I can ask my wedding coordinator or people in the chat room for opinions. I don’t have to know all the answers.”
“I was able to cope with ——, I can certainly cope with this.”
“I’m going to enjoy myself no matter what.”
“The thing that counts most is that I’m marrying the man I love.”

Come up with your own statements. Try to remember what coping thoughts helped you in past situations.

Get enough sleep. If you find yourself tossing and turning or waking up in the middle of the night with the guest list on your mind, try drinking a warm glass of scalded milk before bedtime. (It’s an old remedy that still works!). You might also want to eliminate caffeine (including sodas) and chocolate from your diet as well as late evening snacks. These things tend to keep you awake.

9)Ask for help if you need it. You don’t have to do everything yourself.

10) Have fun with your wedding! One couple I know had the whole wedding party dressed in costumes from the Renaissance period. Did they worry that others might find it odd? Maybe for about five minutes. Did everyone have a good time? Absolutely! Remember, in the final analysis, your wedding is a celebration of your love for each other. Why stress over a happy occasion?

Postime te Ngjashme:

How To Choose an Engagement Ring

Derby — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 11:23:08 +0000

The 4 C’s of Diamonds
CUT, COLOR, CLARITY, CARAT

CUT
Refers to the actual angles and proportions of a diamond. Many confuse this with the shape of a diamond. The cut will affect the sparkle, brilliance and fire of a diamond (or how a diamond shines). I would consider this to be the most important factor of the 4 C’s. A diamond that is well cut can be distinguished with the naked eye by comparing the scintillation with that of other diamonds.

COLOR
The most common color of diamonds found in nature is yellow. Therefore, the rarest and most desirable diamonds are colorless. To put it simply,

DEF are colorless, think “Rolls-Royce”
GH are near colorless, think “Mercedes-Benz”
IJ are slight yellow , think “Honda”
KL are yellow, think “Pintos”
M-Z very yellow to brown, you don’t want one of these, unless you are fond of brown stones.

CLARITY
Refers to the inclusions or natural impurities of a diamond. This results from thousands of years of pressure, heat and sedimentation of rocks. The following grading system is based on a standard 10X magnification: FL flawless
IF internally flawless
VVS1 very, very slight inclusions
VVS2 also very, very slight inclusion….but a minute amount more than VVS1
VS1 very slight inclusions, grade 1
VS2 very slight inclusions, grade 2
SI1 slightly included, grade 1
SI2 slightly included, grade 2
I1 included
I2-I3 very, badly included

Generally FL and IF are considered museum pieces; they are extremely rare and valuable. VVS1 and VVS2 are again in the Rolls Royce category. VS1 and VS2, the Mercedes-Benz group, and SI1 and SI2 are more common. I1-I3 are extremely included and are usually visible to the naked eye. Because of the high degree of inclusions, the durability and fire of these diamonds could be jeopardized. If hit, the diamond could crack or cleave along an inclusion.

Clarity is a factor that is really for your own knowledge, since most people cannot look at a diamond and judge its clarity. The difference in price between each class could be a couple hundred dollars to a few thousand, depending on the carat size.

CARAT
This is the actual weight of a diamond. One carat is equivalent to 1/20th of a gram or 100 points equals one carat. Many people confuse this with size. For example, if we compare 3 diamonds weighing one carat each, they may all have different diameters across the top. Even though one may look bigger than the other two, it might not be well cut, and therefore may not sparkle as much as one that is well cut.

CASH OR CREDIT ?
Many stores offer payment plans with no interest for three months to one year on approved credit. Others may offer a layaway plan, whereby the ring is kept by the store until the full payment is made. Because the ring will be one of your first large purchases, check out credit card companies that offer rewards by using their card. You will be amazed at how quickly you will qualify for miles or gifts. If you would like to use cash, the best way is to obtain a certified cheque or a draft from your bank for the total amount. This will bypass any difficulties that may arise with a personal cheque.

JEWELRY STORE OR PAWN SHOP ?
Imagine buying bread…would you prefer freshly baked buns from a specialty bakery or frozen rolls from a convenience store? This is the same thought process I would recommend when choosing a store to buy from. With a reputable, established jewelry firm, you will be ensured of quality and authenticity. They should also guarantee the craftsmanship. With a pawn shop, you may net an incredible deal, but what happens if the goods are fake, stolen, or poorly made?

GRANDMA’S OLD RING?
If you are fortunate enough to inherit an heirloom ring, you should thank your lucky stars. You have just saved yourself perhaps thousands of dollars. If you are afraid your girlfriend will be startled in your tastes of rings, not to worry. Diamonds are a recyclable resource and can be easily re-set into new mounts (rings) from $400 for a simple gold band setting. A semi-mount (mount with side stones) could cost more depending on the number and quality of side (shoulder) stones. By the time the old diamond is set, no one would ever guess that it has been cherished for many years before. Some also prefer to preserve heritage settings by re-tipping claws (to secure the diamonds) and putting on a new shank (bottom of ring that usually wears thin over many years of use). After this and a good steam cleaning, the original splendor is restored.

APPRAISAL
For insurance purposes, it is always a good idea to have an appraisal stating the details and value of your diamond ring. Usually an appraisal and photo would be included with the purchase of a ring. Do some research to find out how much your home insurance policy covers, since most policies cover only a limited dollar value, so extra coverage may be required. Depending on your agents, they usually require an updated appraisal every 4-5 years, since the replacement value of jewelry usually increases over time

Postime te Ngjashme:

Wedding Day

Derby — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 11:08:36 +0000

The first step to looking your best on your wedding day is to have a skin care regimen in place that fulfills four basic functions: to cleanse, to exfoliate, to freshen and to protect. Blusher or no blusher, everyone is going to be looking at your face, and you want it to look fresh and beautiful. For best results, you should have your skin care regimen in place for at least one month prior to your wedding.

First determine your skin type, because your skin care must work with your skin type in order to be effective. If you have oily skin but are using a hydrating (for dry skin) regimen, you will not see results. Start by asking yourself a few questions:
1) by noon, does your face feel dry? slightly oily in the T-zone (nose and forehead)? oily over your entire face?
2) do you experience breakout problems never/rarely? once a month? regularly in the T-zone? frequently?
3) would the condition of your skin be improved by extra moisture? balancing oily and dry areas? reducing oil?

If you answered most of these questions with the first answer, your skin tends to be dry. The second answers point towards combination skin, and the third is oily. Now you need to find the right products to work with these characteristics.

First, you need a good cleanser, and you should use it both morning and night. I say “cleanser” and not “soap,” because soap has drying properties and is harsh on your skin. Why cleanse both morning and night, you ask? Well, at night you’re taking off your make-up and any dirt and grime you picked up during the day (and it’s everywhere!). But you want to cleanse first thing in the morning because, unless you change your pillowcase every day, your face picks up dirt and dust off your pillowcase and oil from your hair during the night. Start with a fresh face every day.

The second step is a good mask. Unlike cleansing, you only need to mask about twice a week. Your mask should fulfill two functions: first, it should reach into your pores and remove the deep down dirt and oil that your cleanser doesn’t get. Second, it will remove dead skin cells that make your face look dull and dry. Your skin is a living organ and it renews itself every 24 hours. At the end of 3 days, you have 3 layers of dead skin on your face. Using a mask twice a week will allow the younger, fresher looking skin to show through and give you a more radiant look (and what bride doesn’t want to look radiant)? If you have very small pores, the main function of your mask will be to exfoliate; cleansing will be secondary, because your pores will keep out most dirt. If you have a regular problem with blemishes, you want to use a heavy clay-based mask that does not have any type of scrubbing grains in it. Scrubbing grains will actually activate your oil-producing glands and make your blemish problem worse.

The third step is a freshener. This is a bridge between your cleansing and protecting phases — it both removes any trace oil and dirt left over from cleansing and it begins to shrink your pores so that they won’t let as much dirt in. If you have dry skin, you want a freshener that is not alcohol-based (find a botanical freshener). If you have oil problems, you want to look for a freshener that has a trace amount of alcohol in it, or perhaps even salicylic acid for extreme blemish problems. A freshener should never sting, so if your face feels uncomfortable (not tingly) when you use your freshener, it’s too strong for your skin type.

Finally, you need to protect your skin. There are two steps to the protection phase. The first is moisturizing. The main cause of visible aging (defined as wrinkles!) is dehydration of the skin. This is a natural process that occurs as we get older, but it can be slowed down. Even oily skin needs to be moisturized twice a day. An oil-controlling moisturizer will add much-needed hydration to your skin, while absorbing excess oil at the same time. Naturally dry skin needs an even heavier moisturizer to counteract its natural tendencies.

The second step of protection is your foundation. You want to find a foundation that matches your skin type (again, oil-control foundation will keep your face looking fresh by absorbing additional oil) and — preferably — has a sunscreen built right in, so you protect your face daily before you ever leave the house. It should also be non-comedogenic so it doesn’t clog your pores (and cause blemishes). A good foundation acts as a barrier between your face and the dirt in the air and the color cosmetics you put on your face, helping to prevent break-outs and giving you a smooth, finished look.

To find a skin care regimen that really works for you, I suggest that you work with a trained beauty professional who can monitor your progress and help you change your regimen accordingly. While it may cost more than simply walking into a drugstore and picking a couple products off the shelf, the improvement you will see will be worth it. I am guessing that each of you has spent at least $100 on your gorgeous wedding dress that you will only wear one day. Isn’t it worth spending $60 on a skin care system that will make you look beautiful both on that one all-important day and every day after that?

This will probably sound very basic to you, but use waterproof mascara. You would be amazed at the number of brides who don’t realize that waterproof (not just smudgeproof) mascara is a must on their wedding days. Undoubtedly, this will be one of the happiest moments of your life, and you may shed a few tears of joy. The last thing you want is streaks of black on your face (or dark circles under your eyes) during pictures. Many brides think they won’t cry during their wedding (I was one of them). I have news for you: no matter how confident you are that you will not cry, you may be surprised at yourself. Consider waterproof mascara your guarantee against the unthinkable.

A word of caution: if you do not own waterproof mascara, do not consider it an item to be “borrowed” (from the “something borrowed, something blue” poem). Eye makeup is extremely susceptible to bacteria — and the last thing you want is an eye infection on your wedding day or your honeymoon (or to give an eye infection to the friend you borrowed the mascara from — she might not stay a friend for long!). Make the commitment to go out and buy yourself a bottle of waterproof mascara, even if you’re only going to use it for one day.

And finally, for those of you who don’t normally wear mascara, DO use it on your wedding day. Mascara will make your eyes look bigger and make them stand out from your face — and every bride has beautiful eyes. No matter what your hair color, I suggest black mascara — it is the most defining mascara available and looks natural on everyone. Be sure you buy your mascara somewhere that gives you a 100% money-back satisfaction guarantee and then try it a couple days ahead of time to make sure it won’t irritate your eyes (and so you get used to wearing it). If you do have problems, return it immediately and try another brand.
Follow these simple tips, and you’ll have the most irresistible eyes around!

Remember the saying “You’re never fully dressed without a smile”? Well, as a bride, your look is not complete without lipliner and lipstick. I know some of you are thinking, “Ewww! Yuck!” because you don’t use lipstick on a regular basis. This is one day you want to use it to complete your look and look polished.

Every eye in the crowd will be on you — and your great big grin — as you walk down the aisle to the man of your dreams. Make sure they see beautiful, soft, full lips by following some of these simple tips:

First of all, start experimenting several weeks (if not months) before your wedding with colors to find one you like (especially if you don’t wear lipstick regularly). Remember your lip, nail and cheek colors need to all be coordinated. That’s not to say they need to all be the same shade, it simply means they need to come from the same family — all warm (oranges, browns, tawnies) or all cool (pinks, purples, plums). As with your mascara, you want to be sure that when you purchase your lipstick, it has a 100% guarantee on it. You don’t want to be saddled forever with a color or texture you don’t like.

Take special care of your lips in the month before the wedding. This means use a lip balm regularly — whenever your lips get dry (don’t lick them!) — and use a lip mask twice a week to remove dead skin (make sure the mask is specifically formulated for your lips. Your facial mask is too strong for the delicate skin on your lips). If you’re going outside, especially for long periods of time, make sure you are wearing lip protector (SPF 15 or higher) or that your lipstick has sunscreen in it.

The day of your wedding, start your morning off with a good covering of lip balm to soften your lips. Before applying your lipstick either apply a thin layer of foundation to your lips or use a product specially formulated to lengthen the wear of your lipstick, such as Mary Kay’s Triple Action Lip Enhancer (either will keep your lipstick on longer). Apply your lipliner first and then fill in with lipstick. Blend with a lip brush for a perfect finish and blot if you wish (it’s not required). If you want a little shine, top your lipstick off with clear gloss.

One word of caution: avoid frosted lipstick on your wedding day. While it may look great in other situations on other days, you want a true color (especially if you have a blusher on your veil) when you get married. You can find several neutral, natural colors (if you don’t like the bright pinks and reds) without frosting the color. Here’s to a beautiful smile!

Postime te Ngjashme:

Organizimi i dasmes

Derby — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 20:13:55 +0000

Lista e gjate e shpenzimeve mund ta beje diten tende te dasmes te duket e frikshme dhe thuajse e paperballueshme per xhepat. Por ja qe mund t’ia dalesh te organizosh nje feste te bukur dhe te mos rrenohesh
financiarisht.

Ja disa keshilla:

Te planifikosh dasmen mund te jete skajshmerisht stresuese, sepse duhen vene shume gjera ne vend dhe e gjithe kjo eshte shume e kushtueshme.
Por nje dasme nuk ka pse te jete shume e shtrenjte per te qene nje pervoje e
mrekullueshme. Ti mund te besh dasmen e endrrave edhe me nje pjese te kostos qe degjon te permendet. Ka shume menyra per ta bere dasmen me pak stresuese e me pak te rende per financat tuaja, keshtu ti dhe bashkeshorti i ardhshem do mund te keni ca para me shume per t’i shpenzuar per gjera qe do t’ju duhen per te nisur jeten ne çift.

Sigurisht qe ne fund te llogarive do ta kuptosh se me lire se gjithçka te bie te arratisesh me bashkeshortin e ardhshem…

Gjithsesi, ketu mund te gjeni disa sugjerime se si te shkurtoni shpenzimet dhe te keni nje dasme te bukur.

Te pergjithshme:

Paracakto buxhetin: Hapi i pare per t’i mbajtur shpenzimet e dasmes nen kontroll eshte te krijosh nje buxhet. Vendos sa do te shpenzosh dhe mos e kaperce, te pakten jo per detaje shtese. Ca para ketu e ca atje mund ta ngrene goxha shifren e shpenzimeve.

Shpenzime paresore: Ka disa gjera qe jane me te rendesishme se sa te tjerat per ty dhe dhendrin e ardhshem. Jepu perparesi pikerisht ketyre gjerave qe kane vlere vertet per ju dhe shkurto kostot e atyre qe nuk jane aq te rendesishme.

Thjeshtezo: Nje rruge per te kursyer para, por edhe per te zvogeluar stresin, eshte ta thjeshtezosh dasmen. Ndonjehere, pak eshte shume. Vertet ke nevoje per secilen nga pese pjatat e darkes per te gezuar diten tende te veçante?

Jepi kohe vetes: Duke i dhene kohe te mjaftueshme vetes per te bere plane, nuk do ndihesh e stresuar ne pergatitjet e minutes se fundit, qe te detyrojne te zgjedhesh sherbime dhe produkte me te shtrenjta. Duke pasur me shume kohe, ti do te kesh mundesi te besh blerje me leverdi dhe jo te zgjedhesh ate qe eshte e gatshme ne minuten e fundit. Perveç kesaj, po te kesh nje karte krediti qe grumbullon pike, do kesh kohe ta perdoresh, keshtu qe mund te perfitosh nga keto “shperblime” per blerjet e mevonshme.

Veshjet dhe aksesoret

Merr me qira fustanin: Per ato qe nuk jane te fiksuara ne idene qe ta kene fustanin edhe per brezat e ardhshem, marrja me qira eshte nje mundesi e mire (dhe ne fakt shumica e nuseve e kane kuptuar
kete).

Kerko ulje per qirane e produkteve te marra ne grup: Kerko nje butik qe ben ulje kur aty merren shume kostume me qira. Mund te arrije deri ne ate pike sa me qirate e smokingeve per shoqeruesit e dhendrit, smokingu i ketij te fundit te merret falas ne diten e dasmes.

Bliji kepucet me ulje çmimi: Po t’i shtosh fjalen “dasme” çdo gjeje, çmimi rritet ne progresion. Kepucet nuk bejne perjashtim. Perpiqu t’i blesh kepucet ne nje dyqan me ulje çmimi (kepuce qe ngjane si kepuce nusesh shpesh mbeten ne dyqan, sepse eshte e veshtire te blihen
per jeten e perditshme).

Merr hua nga mikeshat dhe te afermit: Beje me te veçante tere dasmen tende duke marre hua aksesoret nga familja dhe miqte. Te vesh stoli te çmuara te familjes apo nje vello te trasheguar do t’i jepte pamjes suaj, por edhe kujtimeve, nje note personale dhe me kuptim.

Lulet

Perdor lulet e stines: Lulet e stines jane shume me te lira se ato qe jane me ekzotike. Keshtu, do kursesh shume dhe dekoret dhe buqetat do duken po aq bukur.

Riperdorimi: Ti mund te kursesh para po te perdoresh te njejtat lule per te zbukuruar kishen ne ceremonine e dasmes (nese do ta beni nje te tille ne kishe) dhe ambientin ku do organizoni festen apo darken. Pyet nese njeriu qe do merret me lulet apo nje mik mund t’i transportoje. Do kete rrezik
mos demtohen gjate rruges, por gjithsesi do t’ju kurseje shume.

Ceremonia

Bej nje feste me te vogel: Festa e dasmes, nese behet me e vogel, ul shume nga totali i shpenzimeve, sepse do keni nevoje per me pak lule zbukurimi, per me pak ushqim dhe pije, per nje ambient me te vogel etj.

Shmang sezonin e pikut te dasmave: Sezoni i pikut te dasmave eshte maj-shtator. Nje dasme jashte ketij sezoni do t’ju kursente shume ne prenotime.

Mendo si mundesi alternativa te tjera transporti: Ne rast se nuk eshte dhe aq e rendesishme per ty qe te hipesh e veshur me fustanin e nuses ne nje limuzine apo ne pajton, mund te shfrytezosh nje forme tjeter per te kursyer. Behu krijuese. Merr me qira nje makine antike nga nje mik ose i aferm dhe dekoroje per dasme. Ketij i thone stil dhe zgjuarsi.

Shkurto listen e te ftuarve: Ki parasysh qe çdo i ftuar qe i shtohet listes rrit shpenzimet. Kjo tingellon si zhurma e dores qe shtrengohet, por ndoshta as ti vete nuk do te ftosh njerez qe nuk i njeh. Fto vetem ata me te cilet je shume e afert.

Tregohu kreative per vendin: Do ishte shume me leverdi po te largoheshe nga ato vendet tipike per dasma. Po te jete e mundur, kopshti i nje te afermi apo nje vend i hapur i gjelberuar do ishte ideal per nje ceremoni dasme. Kjo jo vetem qe do kursente ca para, por do ta kthente ne nje feste te veçante dasmen tuaj.

Dekorimet

Jo tradicionale. Nuk eshte e thene te lesh shuma te medha parash per dekorimin e tavolinave. Lulet, qe jane me te zakonshmet, kushtojne shume. Nje gote qelqi ku noton nje qiri do ishte perfekte per t’u vendosur ne qender te tavolinave. Me kete mund te merret dhe nje njeri i aferm. Produktet e tjera te zbukurimit mjafton te kombinohen mire dhe do t’i jepnin tavolines nje pamje feste, edhe pse mund te mos jene shume te shtrenjta.

Beji vete dhuratat per te ftuarit. Edhe ato mund t’i beni vete, duke sajuar lule, kartolina, copa tyli, fjongo, por qe marrin nje pamje interesante po te jene te kombinuara bukur.

Fotografite

Tregohu e kujdesshme: Ne fakt per kete nuk eshte e nevojshme te keshillosh, por gjithsesi po te kujtojme: mos merr fotografin e pare qe gjen ne numerator apo qe te propozojne. Mundesite jane, keshtu qe kerko alternativen me te mire.

Te rinjte e talentuar ose te afermit: Ne rast se nuk mund te perballosh nje fotograf profesionist, te rinjte e talentuar ne kete fushe, sidomos ata qe e kane ndjekur nje kurs ne kete profil, jane nje mundesi e mire per te marre rolin e fotografit. Per te qene te sigurt, mund t’i kerkoni t’ju tregojne disa nga fotot qe kane shkrepur me pare. Edhe nje i aferm i afte ne kete fushe mund t’ju vije ne ndihme ose te pakten per fotot gjate pergatitjeve dhe ato me miqte e familjen.

Stampoji vete fotografite: Ne rast se fotografi do t’ju jepte ne dore dhe fotografite e stampuara, atehere ju do te shpenzonit shume me teper. Me mire merrini ne CD dhe stamponi ato qe ju duhen.

Ftesat Beji vete: Ne rast se je e zonja, mund t’i pergatisesh shume lehte. Ti mund te perdoresh programet e kompjuterit tend dhe leter te blere ne kancelarite qe e tregtojne. Nuk kerkon aspak mund, te jep shansin per ta bere ftesen sipas fantazise tende dhe te kursen.

Shkruaju te ftuarve te pergjigjen online ose ne telefon: Krahas fteses, ti mund t’u dergosh nje adrese email-i ose nje numer telefoni, qe ata te konfirmojne pranine e tyre.

Muzika

Pergatite vete diskun e preferuar te kengeve: Ne vend qe te kete ne çdo hap te ceremonise nje grup muzikantesh, fare mire ti mund te lesh ne sfond muziken tende te preferuar. Ne kishe, ne koktejin e dasmes apo ne mes te interpretimeve live mund te degjohen kenget e tua te preferuara, qe kane nje kuptim te veçante per ty dhe bashkeshortin e ardhshem.

Merr nje orkester amatoresh: Ne rast se nuk mund te marresh dot nje orkester dhe kengetare profesioniste, gjej disa studente ose muzikante te rinj amatore. Ndoshta nuk do njohin kenget me te famshme te dasmave, por do i realizojne ato thuajse njelloj si te tjeret.

Behu DJ i dasmes tende: Ështe me e lehte se kurre te jesh DJ i festave. Ti mund te besh miksimet e tua ne nje CD. Ështe nje rruge e thjeshte per te qene e sigurt se gjate festes do kete vetem muzike qe te pelqen.

Ushqimi

Syno per bufe: Ndonjehere bufete mund te jene me pak te kushtueshme se sa darkat apo drekat ku njerezit ulen ne tavolina. Konsultohu me nje person qe merret me kete nese mund te jete nje alternative me e mire. Bufete jane me te thjeshta edhe per te kenaqur te ftuarit qe e shijojne ushqimin se sa te shtrosh nje darke me shume mundesi zgjedhjeje.

Kufizo barin e hapur: Ta kufizosh barin e hapur tradicional ne me pak kohe ose ne me pak mundesi zgjedhjeje i shkurton me te vertete shpenzimet.

Bej nje torte me te vogel: Tortat e dasmes jane te te gjitha formave dhe permasave, por sa me luksoze pamja e jashtme, aq me e kushtueshme eshte torta. Tortat me nje kat jane shume me te lira se ato te lartat. Ne rast se ti do nje torte me kate per te bere foto duke e prere, merr nje te vogel dhe nderkohe perdor nje tjeter ne forme te thjeshte per t’ua servirur te ftuarve. Ajo shijon njelloj, dhe pse nuk duket njelloj, keshtu qe vendos nese eshte e domosdoshme te shpenzosh aq shume.

Bli me shumice: Ushqimet dhe pijet jane me te lira kur blihen me shumice. Keshtu qe perpiqu te blesh gjerat kryesore keshtu. Vera dhe shampanja mund te sjelle nje ulje te dukshme shpenzimesh po te mos blihet ne shishe.

Postime te Ngjashme: